thank you darkness.

'You are not alone, you are not crazy, and someday you will start to whisper thank you to the darkness... thank you to the pain, the fear the struggle even thank you to the narc ....because in the darkness you will find light you never knew you had inside your heart, strength you never imagined.'


- Christie Brinkley

LOVE DOES NOT HURT

You can say the most loving words with sarcasm and silently communicate contempt through body language, rolling eyes, sighs, grimaces, tone of voice, disgusted looks, cold shoulders, banging dishes, stonewalling, cold shoulders, etc. There are dozens of ways to be emotionally abusive.

In some respects, emotional abuse is more devastating than physical violence, due the greater likelihood that victims will blame themselves.

If someone hits you, it's easier to see that he or she is the problem, but if the abuse is subtle - saying or implying that you're ugly, a bad parent, stupid, incompetent, not worth attention, or that no one could love you - you are more likely to think you’re the problem.

Emotional abuse is more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your spirit. It makes love hurt.

False Allegations

Woman Admits to False Allegations

100% Perfect *girl* being the operative word...try out womanhood...

Ignoring The Soul Of Your Own Child

Gaslight for Brains

Surrrre.

Parental Alienation In Action Part II

Parental Alienation In Action

Empathy is Gone.

Lack of empathy is one of the most striking features of people with narcissistic personality disorder. It's a hallmark of the disorder in the same way that fear of abandonment is in borderline personality disorder.

"Narcissists do not consider the pain they inflict on others; nor do they give any credence to others' perceptions," says Dr. Les Carter in the book Enough of You, Let's Talk About Me (p. 9). "They simply do not care about thoughts and feelings that conflict with their own." Do not expect them to listen, validate, understand, or support you.

Never let a narcissist determine your self-worth. Narcissists lack empathy and the ability to validate others, so don't trust them with sensitive information or sharing important achievements because they won’t treat it with the respect it deserves.

Pity the Narcissist. Arrogance doesn't inspire sympathy or compassion. But at the end of the day, when you think about it, pity may be the only emotion evoked by someone who is so desperately in need of constant compliments, attention and validation.

Source.

Why?

I have known my husband since I was 17 and he was 20. He was my best friend's high school sweetheart, and one of my favorite people on earth. In one sudden move, he broke up with my best friend and abruptly fell off the face of the earth. Years later, I finally found him --- married to the woman whom he'd left my best friend for and miserable. His wife had effectively isolated him from his family, convinced him that he was a drug addict, forced into NA, and obliterated his sense of self. He was a shell of who he used to be, his spirit was dim, and his heart was crushed. It took him eight years, but he finally shut down completely and reached levels of hopelessness that he'd never imagined. The marriage ended with his being falsely accused and wrongly convicted of domestic violence against a family member; and she took the house, the car, the kids, and any shred of dignity that she could get out of him along the way. 

This is a very short version obviously, but the pain of what he went through, paired with the pain of what she has put him through since the marriage ended is hard to describe. Physical abuse is easy to explain and prove, but emotional abuse is a devastation that can steal years of your life. These are his stories, our experience, and information we have used to help us navigate through having to withstand a true Narcissist at work.