Says magic isn't real...then engages in magical thinking.

Without Narcissistic Supply – the narcissist crumbles, like the zombies or the vampires one sees in horror movies. It is terrifying and the narcissist will do anything to avoid it. Think about the narcissist as a drug addict. His withdrawal symptoms are identical: delusions, physiological effects, irritability, emotional lability.

Narcissists often experience brief, de-compensatory psychotic episodes when their psyche is disassembled – either deliberately in therapy or following a life-crisis accompanied by a major narcissistic injury.

These psychotic episodes may be closely allied to another feature of narcissism: magical thinking. Narcissists are like children in this sense. Many, for instance, fully believe in two things: that whatever happens – they will prevail and that good things will always happen to them. It is more than a belief, really. Narcissists just KNOW it, the same way one knows gravity – directly, immediately and surely.

The narcissist believes that, no matter what he does, he will always be forgiven, always prevail and triumph, always come on top. The narcissist is, therefore, fearless in a manner perceived by others to be both admirable and insane. He attributes to himself divine and cosmic immunity – he cloaks myself in it, it renders him invisible to his enemies and to the powers of "evil". It is a childish phantasmagoria – but to the narcissist it is very real.

Poisonous parasite.

Psychopaths poison minds—that is their greatest skill. After they sink their claws into you, they begin to twist your words and manipulate your mind. You will never again experience someone who so carefully manufactures your every thought. Once you are free from their calculated games, you will be horrified to discover how deeply you were triangulated against perfectly good people, and led into a constant state of negativity & anxiety. And when the parasite is gone from your life for good, your free-will slowly returns as the false reality finally comes crashing down. You realize it was not you and the psychopath against the world—it was only the psychopath against you.

Cockroaches

Keep in mind, that whatever you do know about the psychopath, it is only the very tip of the iceberg. There are many more things below the surface that they have done and are capable of that you will never know about. You will never discover or understand the complete depths of their depravity. The memories that already make you sick are nothing compared to what you don't know. Their lies and schemes are like cockroaches. Where you see one or two, there are thousands more you can't see.

Communicating with a Sociopath

I've spent years trying to create and maintain healthy boundaries with my ex-husband.   It’s a daily task requiring me to stay on guard at all times. I have to carefully edit and dissect every email or text that I send him to make sure that I am not being too friendly, engaging him in any way, or inviting further interaction. I avoid all face-to-face interaction in order to prevent him from trying to intimidate or manipulate me.

This is quite draining, since it is an unnatural way of communicating with another human being.  But, communication with a sociopath is not anything like communication with a normal person.

He will look for ‘hidden meanings’ that are not there, he will use words and phrases that push my emotional buttons, or he will talk in riddles that imply a message that he won’t ever say explicitly.  This is his way of setting up a possible scenario where he can twist the truth, change his meaning, accuse, blame, ridicule, you name it.

This is a favorite game of his, and I sense the trap so often that I actually begin to feel paranoid, until I talk to a ‘normal’ person.  It doesn't take long to reinforce what a healthy relationship sounds and feels like.  But, a sociopath has the uncanny ability to manipulate us into questioning the one thing that is the very essence of our survival: instinct.

False Allegations

Woman Admits to False Allegations

Beam her up!

Narcissists Believe

Narcissists Believe

…that their every emotion is deeply important, but everyone else is “overreacting”…that rules are for everyone but them.…that wherever they are, they’re the best person to take over the show immediately.…the most valuable thing other people can do is give them attention and serve them.

…that those in positions of influence never deserve their roles.

…that everyone is boring, stupid, unappealing, wrong – except them

.…that anyone opposing their views is bad, and must be stopped.

…that the wrong things they do are fair, and the fair things you do are wrong.

…if they can’t be worshiped, they should be pitied (for not being justifiably worshiped).

…that all relationships (even family) are competitive games of control they must “win”.

…that people have 2 choices – provide admiration/empathy, or experience retribution.

…that boundaries are an attack.

…that there’s always SOMETHING they can use as a “reason” to look down on someone.

…that a compliment is something people have to say to get what they want.

…that all the less-worthy people need to get out of their way.

…that therapy is for inferior people (you), or for confirming their beliefs & victimhood.

…that everyone around them must either submit or be banished.

Loser delusions.

Psychopaths are Losers who view themselves as Leaders. As we’ve seen, unless there’s a specific advantage for him, a psychopath never admits to being wrong, to doing wrong, to having wronged anyone. Whatever he does wrong to others–cheating, lying, manipulation, hurting them emotionally and physically–he manages to project blame on the victims and on those around them. In fact, the psychopath will see his cowardly actions as superior; on a higher plane of existence than the rest of humanity. Rather than seeing himself as the pathological person that he is–essentially, a Loser who spends his life parasitically using and taking advantage of others–the psychopath is likely to see and describe himself as a maverick: a lone dissenter, a willfully independent hero “ahead of the pack,” who rejects the dated and commonplace notions of right and wrong and of truth and falsehood. Ethical human beings, who care about others, are considered by the psychopath and his followers “moralistic” and “narrow-minded”.

Like the Nietzschean Superman, the psychopath considers himself beyond the norms of good and evil: except, of course, when it comes to double standards, since no psychopath would want others to use, manipulate, deride and hurt him as he does them. The underlying narcissism that leads the psychopath to focus only on his desires, pleasures and needs also blinds him to his faults and protects him from self-blame.

He re-frames reality to fit with his narcissistic delusions. Sleaziness, violence, stalking and perversion--sadistic games played at other people’s expense–are framed as “hedonism”,  ”childlike innocence and playfulness” or “libertine freedom”. Lies are framed as “creative interpretations of reality” or clever “modes of persuasion”. Manipulativeness, slander and back-stabbing become, in his deranged mind, “Machiavellianism” or “cunning”. As the psychopath’s idiotic grins which often accompany his malicious actions reveal time after time, his behavior and intentions are as far removed from “childlike” or “harmless fun” as possible. “Freedom” too is a meaningless concept, given that his main goal is to trample on the freedom and rights of others. He intends to control and harm others: control by harming them, to be precise.

Consternation.

Psychopaths don’t create love bonds with others. They establish dominance bonds instead. When those controlled by a psychopath disapprove of his actions or sever the relationship, sometimes he’ll experience anger. But his immediate reaction is more likely to be surprise or consternation. Psychopaths can’t believe that their bad actions, which they always consider justifiable and appropriate, could ever cause another human being who was previously under their spell to disapprove of their behavior and reject them. Even if they cheat, lie, use, manipulate or isolate others, they don’t feel like they deserve any repercussions as a result of that behavior. In addition, psychopaths rationalize their bad actions as being in the best interest of their victims.

For instance, if a psychopath isolates his partner from her family and persuades her to quit her job and then, once she’s all alone with him, abandons her to pursue other women, he feels fully justified in his conduct. In his mind, she deserved to be left since she didn’t satisfy all of his needs or was somehow inadequate as a mate. In fact, given his sense of entitlement, the psychopath might even feel like he did her a favor to remove her from her family and friends and to leave her alone in the middle of nowhere, like a wreck displaced by a tornado. Thanks to him, she can start her life anew and become more independent.

To put it bluntly, a psychopath will kick you in the teeth and expect you to say “Thank you.” Being shameless and self-absorbed, he assumes that all those close to him will buy his false image of goodness and excuse his despicable actions just as he does. In fact, he expects that even the women he’s used and discarded continue to idealize him as a perfect partner and eagerly await his return. That way he can continue to use them for sex, money, control, his image or any other services if, when and for however long he chooses to return into their lives.

When those women don’t feel particularly grateful—when, in fact, they feel only contempt for him–the psychopath will be initially stunned that they have such a low opinion of him. He will also feel betrayed by these women, or by family members and friends who disapprove of his reprehensible behavior. Although he, himself, feels no love and loyalty to anyone, a psychopath expects unconditional love and loyalty from all those over whom he’s established a dominance bond.

This mindset also explains psychopaths’ behavior in court. Both Scott Peterson and Neil Entwistle seemed outraged that the jury found them guilty of murder. Psychopaths believe that those whom they have hurt, and society in general, should not hold them accountable for their misdeeds. After all, in their own minds, they’re superior to other human beings and therefore above the law. How dare anybody hold them accountable and punish them for their crimes!

All those elephants in the room....

If you've ever found yourself in a conversation with a person who "just can't understand" how to communicate in an authentic or seem incapable of grasping simple courtesies in communication, don't automatically assume, they GENUINELY don't understand, if you've attempted to explain yourself one or two times.

Narcissists are MASTERS at PURPOSEFULLY appearing obtuse, when in fact, they know EXACTLY what you're trying to say; they just don't want to hear it.