"Bazinga!"

Narcissists don't want to really help people and they certainly do not want to challenge a real bad guy because that could mean actually getting hurt! So they create bad guys out of safe people who they think won't challenge them because the narcissist is looking for an easy win that will allow them to shine.

They just make up stuff about their victim; voila, instant bad guy! The glory-hound narcissist will also deliberately overreact in public to perceived insults and 'crimes' to appear strong but they will only do so when the person they are confronting seems non-threatening.

For the narcissist to play the part of hero effectively, they expect their victims (the chosen bad guys) to follow their rules. You have to let them win. You have to act scared. You have to be cowed as they rage at you. You have to apologize. You have to admit fault even when you are not wrong. You have to be defeated because they have to win and that means you have to lose. You must lose face. You must lose ground. You must lose period.

That is why it is very common for narcissistic people to have their favorite bad guys that they attack and accuse on a regular basis. They aren't as eager to confront the unknown. They might misjudge and have real fight on their hands. So they train people in their lives to be the bad guys; people they have constant access to; people they can brainwash.

So if you are with someone who always makes you the bad guy no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, you are most likely being used by a narcissist.

Fixers

Tornado

Expressing our emotions to a narcissist involves our vulnerability and trust that we will be

honored. It's a reaction that we have every right to expect when we are "close" to people. 

People aren't perfect; so they're going to hurt us. We were all healthy enough when we 

were first accosted by a narcissist. We were willing to forgive the ways the hurt us from the 

very beginning. 


The problem wasn't that we didn't forgive enough, the problem is that we were abused 

instead of being listened to and respected. Its just one of the many ways that narcissists 

erode our confidence and ability to defend ourselves against future attacks and/or leave. 


Narcissists can't accept that they're less than perfect, even though they may be trying to act 

like a person who doesn't care that much about "perfection" or "their image". Ignore the 

words, and look at the ACTIONS. They all say "perfectionism"; thus, when you express 

your feelings of negativity about a narcissist, they are inordinantly hurt and ATTACK back. 

Because they believe that You are just as intentionally abusive as they are - they'll justify 

abusing you by saying that you "deserved it". When all that's happening in reality is that a 

narcissist can't take criticism (being less than perfect) they feel it as a huge injury and they 

lash back in an over exaggerated manner. 


It's a TWISTED world they live in - and one that twists us, while we are in it. You can't be 

CENTERED when living in the eye of a tornado.

thank you darkness.

'You are not alone, you are not crazy, and someday you will start to whisper thank you to the darkness... thank you to the pain, the fear the struggle even thank you to the narc ....because in the darkness you will find light you never knew you had inside your heart, strength you never imagined.'


- Christie Brinkley

Lol...yerp.

Mentally disordered individuals use projection. Narcissists are some of the most adept at actively projecting what they are onto their targets. They are constantly and consistently full of accusations and criticisms, with their claims that YOU are doing exactly what THEY are doing - the definition of projection. They will lie to you but you will be called dishonest. They will cheat on you with a vengeance - but YOU are the cheater and sex addict. Start investigating their actions or questioning their accountability, and you are going to get the finger pointed at you for being sneaky, causing trouble, jealous and making up stories. Try to have a rational conversation with them - perhaps describing something hurtful they have done, NO WAY - because that makes you an abuser. You can't give them anything but glowing admiration - negative feedback will start their raging at you. You will be constantly criticized and severely and then called oversensitive if you show any feelings about it. When they say something, it's law and written in stone -- and you don't know what you are talking about --- EVER!!!