The excuses we tell ourselves...

1. "Maybe it is all in my head":

Lets see:

I used to be happy, have friends, attended family functions, stayed up late, could make decisions on spending (even if wrong), go out and do things, make whatever I wanted for dinner and stack the cupboard any which way I liked. Nope...not in your head.

If you feel nervous before arriving home, wondering if it is ok to heat up a frozen entree or feel the need to get permission before communicating with other humans...it is not in your head.

You have yourself a problem, masquerading as a loved one.

2. "(S)he wouldn't go that far"

Please think again. Yes, they will go that far...possibly even farther. A narcissist in rage mode is capable of quite a bit:

Alienating the kids.
Emotionally abusing those near and dear.
Leaving you homeless.
Accusing you of crimes or abuse.
Having you arrested.
Stealing the money.
Destroying property.
Ruining your relationships.
Getting you fired.

3. "Maybe if they get some help or medication"

Nope. Probably not going to happen and if by chance you do manage to convince them to walk into a therapist office you can expect one of the following:

1. They feel they do not need to go because everything is ok with them.
2. They will feel that the therapist doesn't know what they are talking about.
3. They will convince the therapist that it is you with the problem.
4. They will feign interest while continuing to harass and abuse you in secret.

4. " I will stick it out for the kids sake"

You can stay and tell yourself that you will put up with anything for the kids sake but here is an important truth you should be aware of:

There is no guarantee that they will.

You could put up with years of gaslighting, devaluing and cruel emotional games and then one day unexpectedly find yourself facing homelessness, custody of your children being taken away and false allegations of various abuse. All while your ex has shacked up with a stunning twenty four year old super model or a wealthy corporate executive who bought into her tales of your neglect or worse.

When a narcissist leaves you it is often on their complete terms:

They move the money.
They hide the financial paperwork.
They prepare evidence and a case against you.
They build up a strong support network.
They tear you down emotionally.
They assassinate your character.

All while you try to keep the marriage going or simply put up with the abuse. One day you are shuttling kids to soccer games or working long hours and the next day you are discarded like yesterdays garbage.

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Copy/pasted. This is beyond creepy.