1. Never be bored.
2. Don't spend time around people who do not give you something.
3. Never let loved one's feel too comfortable.
4. People are out to get you...get them first.
5. If you haven't gotten your way, keep trying.
6. Punish those who hurt you.
7. If alone in a room with your partner talking...ignore them.
8. Cheating is ok if you are bored.
9. Don't forget to say things like "that is awful", "I am sorry", "Let me get that for you"...lest they learn my secret indifference.
10. Did I get what I want?
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Narcissist Training Manual - Part 1.
1. When in a social situation with your partner always keep talking.
2. Keep telling your story until you yourself believe it.
3. People come in four varieties: People to use, people to destroy, people to avoid, fresh new people.
4. Partners only have a few good years in them, use them up before they spoil.
5. Remember to look good and act hip. Remember dress, music and props.
6. Never accept anything but having it your way.
7. Lose anyone who doesn't live up to your standards.
8. If your partner speaks, explain how they could improve.
9. Sex is a tool to achieve a goal.
10. Remind partners that without you they will never survive.
2. Keep telling your story until you yourself believe it.
3. People come in four varieties: People to use, people to destroy, people to avoid, fresh new people.
4. Partners only have a few good years in them, use them up before they spoil.
5. Remember to look good and act hip. Remember dress, music and props.
6. Never accept anything but having it your way.
7. Lose anyone who doesn't live up to your standards.
8. If your partner speaks, explain how they could improve.
9. Sex is a tool to achieve a goal.
10. Remind partners that without you they will never survive.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
me me me me me
Do nice things for me.
See how hip I am.
Watch how confident I appear.
See how decisively I act.
Are you having a ton of fun?
Stick near me and some of my hipness will rub off on YOU.
Ok, I have had enough...give me some space.
See how hip I am.
Watch how confident I appear.
See how decisively I act.
Are you having a ton of fun?
Stick near me and some of my hipness will rub off on YOU.
Ok, I have had enough...give me some space.
How dare you be comfortable?
Give, give, give...then feel like shit afterwards. Every single one of these people are takers. They love to receive. Every day is THEM day.
Bring a gift, bring your love, your devotion, your undivided attention and your soul.
Don't feel too comfortable though because this makes them uncomfortable...feeling comfortable is THEIR realm, not yours. You are just the delivery person. Serve until better comes along.
Bring a gift, bring your love, your devotion, your undivided attention and your soul.
Don't feel too comfortable though because this makes them uncomfortable...feeling comfortable is THEIR realm, not yours. You are just the delivery person. Serve until better comes along.
It couldn't have ended any other way.
Whatever happened in your relationship with the psychopath, and no matter how awful the final discard was, it could not have happened any other way. The D&D (devalue and discard) is the psychopath's goal—the final payoff. They get to cause you the maximum amount of pain they can (sheer delight for them), and move on to fresh supply to start the game again. How could you have possibly prevented that? You can't—not with someone who is actively working against you, using love-bombing and trust, and a false persona, to set you up for a horrifying downfall.
You struggled through the relationship, watching the psychopath slowly pull away, devalue you, wondering what you had done wrong, and desperately trying to "fix" things between you. And all the while, they kept adding to the pressure—building your fears, your panic, and your addiction. It was deliberate and calculated.
There's no embarrassment in what you did, trying to save what you thought you had. At least, there shouldn't be. If you were with a normal person, it may have worked. But then, with a normal person, he or she would have met you half way, to work on any problems. The psychopath knew what they were doing—manipulating the situation and you, to create your desperation, and to increase your pain. It was the game. And if you haven't gone total No Contact, it still is.
You tried your best. In fact, you did more than your best, as you knocked down your own boundaries, trying to change and prevent what was coming. But in the end, there was nothing you could do—it was designed by the psychopath to end like it did. You could be the most stunning, accomplished, intelligent person, and it still wouldn't matter. It wouldn't have stopped the discard. Nothing will.
In the end, it really wasn't you, it was the psychopath. You tried to deal openly, honestly, and lovingly with someone who exploited that, and used it against you. You are not the sick person, the psychopath is. So please, learn to forgive yourself. You were in an unfair, exploitative, parasitic relationship, and how you reacted is how any normal, healthy person would have. You were being manipulated, and responded the way the psychopath wanted you to.
Now you are wiser. Now, you will grow from what you've learned, and become stronger. Your boundaries will be reaffirmed, and grow stronger as well. The psychopath did not destroy you—they have only tried to convince you of that. But that's the addiction talking. Rise up—be a better you. And remember, it couldn't have ended any other way.
You struggled through the relationship, watching the psychopath slowly pull away, devalue you, wondering what you had done wrong, and desperately trying to "fix" things between you. And all the while, they kept adding to the pressure—building your fears, your panic, and your addiction. It was deliberate and calculated.
There's no embarrassment in what you did, trying to save what you thought you had. At least, there shouldn't be. If you were with a normal person, it may have worked. But then, with a normal person, he or she would have met you half way, to work on any problems. The psychopath knew what they were doing—manipulating the situation and you, to create your desperation, and to increase your pain. It was the game. And if you haven't gone total No Contact, it still is.
You tried your best. In fact, you did more than your best, as you knocked down your own boundaries, trying to change and prevent what was coming. But in the end, there was nothing you could do—it was designed by the psychopath to end like it did. You could be the most stunning, accomplished, intelligent person, and it still wouldn't matter. It wouldn't have stopped the discard. Nothing will.
In the end, it really wasn't you, it was the psychopath. You tried to deal openly, honestly, and lovingly with someone who exploited that, and used it against you. You are not the sick person, the psychopath is. So please, learn to forgive yourself. You were in an unfair, exploitative, parasitic relationship, and how you reacted is how any normal, healthy person would have. You were being manipulated, and responded the way the psychopath wanted you to.
Now you are wiser. Now, you will grow from what you've learned, and become stronger. Your boundaries will be reaffirmed, and grow stronger as well. The psychopath did not destroy you—they have only tried to convince you of that. But that's the addiction talking. Rise up—be a better you. And remember, it couldn't have ended any other way.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Showing signs of affection is beneath them.
Body language experts have found that narcissistic partners are those that walk in front of their mates - often leaving them behind in a passive aggressive and subversive indicator that the mate is not important.
The narcissist also engages in Non-reciprocating body language, where the mate is often very affectionate and touchy feely with the narcissist while the narcissist remains guarded, closed off, self absorbed and cold.
Narcs are emotionally distant and detached. They will request you to be present for every event they partake in but only for a reason , "to take their photo" of whatever it's they are doing. They couldn't care less if they uttered one spoken word and expressed one drop of emotion. Everything they do is with their best interest in mind. Should you request a family photo with them they will look in the opposite direction of the camera. Should you wish to have a family vacation they will not help prepare days in advance to pack, secure the hotel and make the proper payments, or even discuss dates and times needed for scheduling but will when the work is finished hurry and jump in the car, put their heads back w/o communication/conversation, pretend as if sleeping or totally oblivious to the world around them and bring with them their lil overnight bag forgetting this was a trip for the family disregarding what the family needs to have prepared and packed. As for their body language it truly speaks volumes.
Narcissists are the least romantic individuals unless you're in the initial love bombing stages in which they try to portray themselves as loving just long enough to win the target over. Soon the mask falls and the cold , shy, calculated behaviors come aboard. Narcissists do not know how to show love, as they repress their emotions. They do not support their significant others and will not show any unconditional love. Attention is obsolete with targets feeling as though they are alone yet in a relationship. Ever walk with a narc and have them walk in front or behind but never side by side. Try shopping with them and have them run off into aisles, hide in bathrooms, or simply walk away from you the second you enter the store. Try showing affection to a narc and it will go unanswered.
They are like sponges the more you give the more they take but they never reciprocate. Showing signs of affection is beneath them. To them romance and love is not something to truly hold near and dear to their heart. They couldn't care less. They feel the common man or woman is mislead into thinking this is the norm , but as we learn narcs are far from the norm....
The narcissist also engages in Non-reciprocating body language, where the mate is often very affectionate and touchy feely with the narcissist while the narcissist remains guarded, closed off, self absorbed and cold.
Narcs are emotionally distant and detached. They will request you to be present for every event they partake in but only for a reason , "to take their photo" of whatever it's they are doing. They couldn't care less if they uttered one spoken word and expressed one drop of emotion. Everything they do is with their best interest in mind. Should you request a family photo with them they will look in the opposite direction of the camera. Should you wish to have a family vacation they will not help prepare days in advance to pack, secure the hotel and make the proper payments, or even discuss dates and times needed for scheduling but will when the work is finished hurry and jump in the car, put their heads back w/o communication/conversation, pretend as if sleeping or totally oblivious to the world around them and bring with them their lil overnight bag forgetting this was a trip for the family disregarding what the family needs to have prepared and packed. As for their body language it truly speaks volumes.
Narcissists are the least romantic individuals unless you're in the initial love bombing stages in which they try to portray themselves as loving just long enough to win the target over. Soon the mask falls and the cold , shy, calculated behaviors come aboard. Narcissists do not know how to show love, as they repress their emotions. They do not support their significant others and will not show any unconditional love. Attention is obsolete with targets feeling as though they are alone yet in a relationship. Ever walk with a narc and have them walk in front or behind but never side by side. Try shopping with them and have them run off into aisles, hide in bathrooms, or simply walk away from you the second you enter the store. Try showing affection to a narc and it will go unanswered.
They are like sponges the more you give the more they take but they never reciprocate. Showing signs of affection is beneath them. To them romance and love is not something to truly hold near and dear to their heart. They couldn't care less. They feel the common man or woman is mislead into thinking this is the norm , but as we learn narcs are far from the norm....
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